After a failed attempt to meet up the prior week I was so excited to see you for our first official date. December 18th 2016. I got there early, about 45 minutes early. I couldn’t contain myself… but realised I needed to eat so I quickly left Isaac Wilson’s and made my way to McDonald’s where I inhaled a burger (Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese — I had yet to discover the almighty Double Cheeseburger and Chicken Snackwrap duo) before walking back to Isaac’s.

I remember being really calm, whilst you were afraid of being Catfished, or worse, ‘Fritzled’, but I knew I was actually me and was just excited to see you. I went to sit in the same seat I’d sat in for 10 minutes prior to making my way to McDonalds and immediately saw you turn towards me from the bar (with a double whisky in hand) but as soon as you saw me you smiled; I was so happy. You were every bit as beautiful as I thought you would be and even funnier.

I was in tears laughing at stories from your childhood, tales of your mother using a vibrator as stylus, saying the word “dildo” far too loudly only for people to hear (I said they didn’t. They totally did.)

We chatted for hours, making our way up to Swatter’s Carr for another drink later before getting a taxi home. As you were dropped off I wanted to say how much I’d enjoyed my night and how I would love to see you again… you were pretty much already half-way to your house and a quick “bye!”, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move so quickly. I genuinely had such a great night but thought that’s all it was going to be. I looked up and saw the taxi driver looking back in his rear-view mirror who gave me a look as if to say “sorry mate”. Still, I had such a great night and smiled all the way home. Thank fully, it wasn’t the end! We’re still here a full year later!